How To Get To The Top..hehe..

January 11th, 2008 by ejgrl90
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?  What does it mean to give

MORE than 100%?  Ever wonder about those
people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where
someone wants you to give over 100%.  How about
achieving 103%?  What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty

that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you
close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s
the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you
over the top!


The Mayonnaise Jar

January 11th, 2008 by ejgrl90

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee…

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else—the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

The Benefits of Lovemaking =)

December 29th, 2007 by ejgrl90

Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.  Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. 

Lovemaking can burn up those calories you plied on during that romantic dinner.  Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!

Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.


The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!


Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever

So, now that you know… have a lot of sex and live a healthier lifestyle! =)

Friendship Bracelet

December 29th, 2007 by ejgrl90

    Did you know ???

     Did you know that when you envy someone, it’s because you really like
that person?
     Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most succeptible?
     Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?
     Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are :
     I love you, Sorry and help me
     The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.
     Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?
     Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
     Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?
     Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
     Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?
     Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don’t mention it to you?
     Did you know that it’s easier to say what you feel in writing than
saying it to someone in the face?But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
     Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that you can buy with money?
     Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
     Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you’d be surprised by what you could do.
     But don’t believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself
, if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you’ll see that it will be returned in two-fold.